Last Friday I went directly to Rapture as soon as I got out of work. That was a little odd — I usually take a whole day off, or at least a half day, when I have a session with Mitsu. It was definitely a different vibe going directly from the world of work into the world of fantasy play. I was feeling pretty run down and a bit glum by the end of the day, even questioning whether I was in the right mood for a session. All those doubts were dispelled as soon as Mitsu walked into the Red Room.
One reason I was feeling a little glum was that my limits on marks are back in place. I was getting down on myself a bit for still concealing my kink; for sneaking off to a session and having to settle for less than I truly desire. I also have plenty of drama in my work-life these days, so it all added up to a rather anxious mindset Friday afternoon.
Despite all those sorts of feelings, I have total confidence in Mitsu’s abilities. I know that Rapture is the place where the rules are suspended. Most important, it’s a place for PLAY. I can leave all my day-to-day concerns and anxieties in a heap at the bottom of the stairs and enter a special space with a special guide.
Everything about Friday afternoon was just right. I felt completely at ease from the moment Mitsu entered the room. We talked, I gave her presents, I got undressed. I like to refer back to Mitsu’s profile on Rapture, and today I’m thinking about this sentence: “I prefer to let things unfold without scripts.” I hung up my clothes then sat on the bed. There was no moment of “Ok, now we’re going to start” — I sat down and we continued talking as she picked up some rope and started to bind me.
I was sitting cross-legged on the bed, hands resting on my knees as Mitsu tied my forearms to my thighs. She looped the rope around my neck, added some twine to my cock & balls, then secured me to the bedframe. Then she pulled out the Violet Wand. This was my first experience with this particular device. First she plugged it in then stuck an attachment down the back of her panties, thus turning herself into an electrical device. Watching the sparks jump from her fingertips to my skin was very nice indeed. Then she picked up a pinwheel and sent more jolts through me — along my legs, across my chest, around my cock. But all that was just the warmup.
Mitsu untied me, made me squirm into the middle of the bed, then she re-tied me. My arms were still tied securely to my legs, with a loop around my neck, then she hoisted my legs into the air and tied them off. I was securely caught in her rope web, with more twine holding my junk in place. Electrode bands were fastened at the base of my cock behind my balls, and at the top of my shaft just behind the head. The Violet Wand was put away and the trusty TENS unit brought out and put through its paces.
In addition to the wonderful sensations she was sending through me, I really enjoyed Mitsu explaining what she was up to. This was one of the chattiest sessions we have had in a while, which contributed to the sense of light-hearted play. There weren’t any goals, there weren’t any cameras, there wasn’t any blood, just two people enjoying some playtime together with rope and electricity. And a hairbrush. She did smack me a bit with a brush. And the nipple clamps. Let’s not forget the nipple clamps. Four days later, there’s still a delightful faint soreness in my nips.
The other striking element of our playtime was the degree to which I lost the ability to speak. I’ve commented before on my inability to keep track of numbers as I drift through subspace, but I think it goes deeper than that. As Mitsu turned the knobs, I began squealing and growling and grunting with all sorts of shock and delight — not really surprising. But there were moments when I was genuinely trying to speak but I just couldn’t do it. That’s a huge thing for me — I am a very verbal person. Part of my submission to Mitsu is so completely turning myself over to someone else that I even surrender the power of speech. She turned me into her twitching, yelping robot and I loved every minute of it.
Perhaps most important of all, Friday’s session reminded me how much FUN this all is. I was listening to Graydancer’s Ropecast interview with Mia recently and there’s a bit where he talks about giggling and laughing in the dungeon. It’s the last thing people expect in an S&M scene, but it’s a huge part of what attracts me. Go back and read the excerpt from Fakir Musafar I posted here back in June for more on this theme.
Of course, not every session is going to be so lighthearted, but that’s part of what I love about playing with Mitsu. Some scenes will be rough and fast, some scenes will be serious and pointy, and some scenes will be funtimeUSA. The challenge now is to find ways to incorporate more play into the rest of my life. I don’t mean more S&M play or sex play, just PLAY. Let things unfold without scripts, loosen my grip on the steering wheel, let my unconscious mind take the reins for a while and see where it all leads…
